I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”
And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.
(Source: shesdonejim, via internet-dork)
If your name is Frank and you don’t use the opportunity to say “let me be frank with you” every day then you are truly dead to me
(via thingsicanteven)
i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
(via thingsicanteven)
actual picture of actual one direction fans
it’s like a scene from a zombie movie
(via tyleroakley)
Friendly reminder that you’re probably going to outlive the very celebrities you love
you certainly put your url to good use
realtired-ofyourshitmasterwayne:
yes mom he’s 49 but he’s really hot
yes mom he’s 47 but he’s really hot
yes mom he’s 30 but he’s really hot
yes mom he’s 34 but he’s really hot
yes mom he’s 36 but he’s really hot
yes mom he’s 37 but he’s really hot
yes mom he’s 41 but he’s really hot
yes mom he’s 31 but he’s really hot
yes mom he’s 38 but hes really hot
yes mom hes 907 but hes really hot
(via suit-and-bowtie)
(Source: thearkenstone, via deanorgasm)
I have a nervous breakdown in the film and in one scene I get to stand at the top of the stairs waving an empty sherry bottle which is, of course, a typical scene from my daily life, so isn’t much of a stretch.
Emma Thompson on playing Professor Trelawney (via likesummertempests) (via fuckyeahemmathompson)
i wrote a poem
whoa
I almost scrolled past this but it’s actually really fucking deep…
Sums up our generation
(Source: youknownothingjonsnohohoh, via suit-and-bowtie)